i miss u.

hey, why are you so important to me..

attempts to email him this photo failed many times.

I hope by posting this photo here, he will open this blog and take a look at it.

this is the photo that I've been saying I haven't showed him,

one which I wanted to surprisingly send him via email, but seems like hotmail wouldn't let me do that.

so there you go...

pictures.

these, plus the things that happened recently, made me confuse.

which one should I trust, words or actions.

Somebody once mentioned, the one who cared more is the one who will get hurt, so he doesnt want to be the one who get hurt.

Congratulations, you're successfully not the one who cared more, apparently. You've achieved your goal at the beginning of the relationship.

I hope no one reads this except myself, seriously. I dont want anyone to know how I'm feeling. I don't want anyone to get affected. But I have no other platform to write this down. I really feel helpless.

I wonder, is it my fault? Am I in the wrong?

All the things I said lead to quarrel unless I quickly divert it. Am I the only one who feel that way?

Some people say I think too much. Is there even such thing as thinking too much? People just express their feelings and emotions, am I right?

Last time, when I don't open up, you're mad at me for being tertutup.

Now when I learn how to express my emotion, all I get is rebuttals and words like ' kamu mikir kebanyakan '

Maybe I should go back to my old self.

Just not let anybody know about me. no, just keep quiet about everything and painfully smile about it. (:

hey girl, everything is fine...everything is gonna be fine as long as you keep it to yourself..^^

how painful it is when someone tells you that

no, i dont need to hear your voice anymore.

i'm used to not hearing your voice anymore.

when every minute here, you're longing to hear the voice of the one you miss.

virtual communication? why dont you just date someone from the many social networking platforms you have.

yeah, i need a stopper in my tearduct right now.

replay.

there are mainly 2 things that brought me back to the past.

1.talking to you on whats app at night without any error in the network

2.reading your private blog posts about me where you really sounds like you do care about me.

these things, they made me feel like i'm that happy girl again. gave me totally different emotions from those shits i've been feeling ( and you've been failing to notice ) recently.

for once, i thought i'm back to how it was in the past. in my beautiful memory.

but haha, how foolish of me!

he will not treat you the same way like he did probably 5weeks ago.

you see, he cant meet you everyday, you dont expect him to really listen to all your woes or respond to your joke anymore.

worst of all, you dont expect him to be able to pamper you with words you wanna hear anymore. he doesnt see it from your view, and trying to express your feelings sometimes look so whinny and recently he looks like he's turning into one of those boys who does not give much damn to their gf.

i'm the girl, what can i do? just stop demanding, hoping, expecting too much.

but for the sake of my desire, i'm gonna have faith!

mirror, mirror on the wall

who's the fairest of them all?









Desire.

how cruel art thou.
how menacing, how pricking.

Desire.

sleep, holding your hands.
you, by my side.

Desire.

staying, not easy.
leaving, tougher.

Desire.

you are the one, one.
one for me, one for you.

Desire.













want to sleep by your side tonight, cuddle and just feel your breath on my nose.
and feel heat radiating from your skin, on mine. and watch tranquility surrounds itself on your face. and the scent of your breathe that pricks my nose. how painful, how sweet.